No Mutants Allowed

Ask your ex-girlfriend. Oh, that's right, she's too busy sucking black cock.

That's fine by me, by the end of next month she'll be irrelevant to me, as per the grieving process

Fart in their face, then bench heavy to create pheromones that will attract him.

the fuck did I just read

The answer to your question, bro. Make sure to use creatine to maximize gains and pheromone production, that'll get 'em going. Beans and spicy food can make some wicked farts, but be careful you can easily go overboard into diesel farts and no one likes those. You gotta find a balance in the smell and force of the fart to produce the desired effect.

No bra, sexy skirt and stockings. It might not work if you're also a guy.

I think I'll just hit on him, Aurelius.

Well if you want to be gay about it I guess you could do that.

I love how quickly you went from a guy who had imagined a future with his girlfriend to a faggot who wants to suck cock and lick hairy assholes. Go you! And do post pics of your cum covered face in the Quaffer thread over at The Order. Hassknecht gets off on that kinky shit.

I mean, she literally claimed jesus told her to break up with me. I can't really see myself mourning much longer when my boi in Miami looks like a five course meal with a dessert