A Final Goodbye

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Bob stood next to the door to the hanger starring at a clock on the wall. An Enclave soldier walked up to the door. The soldier looked at Bob waiting for him to open the door.

"Are you sure you want to do this? Once we leave you can't come back." Bob said. The solder nods. Bob presses a button on a panel next to the door. The door bleeps and slowly opens. The two walk in to the hanger were they were stopped by a guard.

"Ids." the guard orders in a harsh voice. Bob and his friend hand the guard their Ids. The man runs the Ids through a scanner. The scanner flashes and the guard hands back the ID cards, "Your plane is ready Jim."

"Thanks." Bob replies. Bob walks up the loading ramp on the Vbird. He waits for his friend to get in the plane. The solder walks up the ramp and goes to the cockpit. Bob flicks a switch and the ramp rises up. Once the door closed, Bob stepped into the cockpit and sat down in the pilot seat. The solder sat in the copilot seat and was turning on the all of the on board computers. Bob pushes some buttons and the engines powered up. Bob turns on the radio and speaks in it, "Requesting lift of for flight 27."

"Request granted. Opening hatch." an electronic voice said. A large door above the plane opened letting in the moon light. Bob pushed the throttle forward and the Vbird took off. Bob pushed a lever forward. The wings rotated 90 degrees clock wise and the and the plane moved forward.

* * *

Bob landed the plane a few miles east of San Francisco. Bob and his copilot shut everything down. The copilot got up, opened the side door on the plane and hopped out. Bob walked up to the door and yells, "Mary, wait!" The solder stops and takes off her helmet.

"What is it?" Mary asked turning around.

"Don't go. I can still get you back before they find out your gone."

"There is nothing left for me in the Enclave."

"What about Jake, are you just going to leave him?"

"Jake needs to find his own path. Besides he would tell Josh. Josh would kill us both."

"Then what about me? You can't just leave me now."

Mary walks up to Bob and takes of his helmet. She leaned in and gave Bob one last kiss. "Good bye Bob." she said softly. She turned around and walked of into the darkness.

* * *

The next morning Bob got in line for breakfast in the cafeteria. "BOB!" a voice yelled out loudly. Bob saw colonel Josh walking towards him. "Were is Mary?" Josh yelled.

"I haven't seen her today." Bob said calmly.

"That little %*%#^ must have run away."

"You talk nicely about your sister."

"Shut up! Major, get over here." Major Jake (the colonel's gofer) walked up to Josh.

"Yes sir." Jake said in a wimpy voice.

"Round up as many assassins as you can find. Tell them that we will pay for the ammo spent and $500."

"Only 500?"

"This is not worth that much to the Enclave."

"Okay, who is the target?"

"Mary."

"Mary! I can't send assassins out to kill our sister."

"You can and will. I'll through you into the brig for disobeying a direct order."

"I would rather die than kill her."

"That can be arranged. Now do what I told you to do."

"Never!"

"GUARDS! Arrest him! No one runs away from the Enclave and lives Jake" Josh points at his brother Jake and two guards run into the room.

The two guards cuffed Jake and start to drag him out "You'll pay for this you %!@%#$#."

The colonel looked back at Bob still waiting in line "This is your fault and when I can prove it, I will kill you myself."
 
Try choosing either present or past tenses and keep them through the whole story.
Good enough
 
i thought it was pretty good. As rune said you really need to use correct tenses cause it throws the reader out of balance if you dont. like up at the top where it says "The two walk(present tense) in to the hanger were they were stopped(past tense) by a guard."
Other than that i wanted to read more. are you going to continue the story?
 
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