[BoS writing contest] BOS DC

4too

Vault Senior Citizen
BOS DC



One: the set up.


Assessment In Text Images

Lifeboat situation. Not enough room, not enough time, not enough resources.

Not enough local cooperation,


shift in metaphor,


and once again, not enough boots on the ground.


Shift in like and as,


A Lion And A Fox.


A lion falls in trap, fox sees traps, fox fears wolves, lion dominates wolves.

Circular puzzle one-ups-man-ship matching scenario similar to scissors, paper, rock.

Animal imagery, this an Aesop fable? Cartoon folk wisdom to prove some moral point?

No and yes, not Aesop but Machiavelli, and it is wisdom that proves a moral point.
Too cynical a sage? Well a fable of real politick, a hard knocks moral point of view.
Saint Mach's primer to his Prince was very concerned with morals.
Be prepared and be the power.

Know the nature of man.

Love is fickle. Fear is certain. Fear that brews hate is a liability. Fear that nurtures respect is the corner stone of the state.

Know the nature of man, cut a deal.


Two: Play the cards as dealt.


After this picturesque moral maneuvering, an obvious oblique granting of freedom of action, permission to pursue the ends by divergent means,
this all come around to the scarcity of resources.

Boots on the ground.

It all comes around to boots on the ground.

The imperative of control, that forged the hull down secrecy of the organization, was validating a coming out.

Not the stock tomb raid.

To glean the mountain of tech information, to harvest the hardware would take time, would mean controlling the path in, the perimeter of the dig, and the path out.

Any significant site might justify a fortified camp. If the old Pentagon was reasonably intact, that might require a citadel.

Open competition of local hostiles and third party tech harvesters requires securing territory, requires boots on the ground.

By huff and by bluff, by fear and favors, by BOS paladins and local recruits, state craft necessitated nation building. Empowering loyal locals and cutting the deal
of fealty. The obligation was two edged, if not always two ways.

Offer selected arms and technological improvements. Offer organizing a city state. Control the territory.



Three: Variations on the control theme.


Holding of resources is for turf protecters, the lions.

Looting the tombs can be a darker craft, for the foxes.

The denial of anything to BOS competitors or out right enemies takes a special turn of any of the above.

A dark turn.

Beyond the benign neglect and the covert surveillance, a scorched earth policy.

Not enough boots on the ground, then consider the power of the weak.
Sleeper guerilla cells, listening posts, and the denial of resources.

Actions of a weaker player, not enough boots on the ground. The lions need to foster a local state, a local rule of order as buffer and market.

Foxes collect the tech, market the tech.

The tech most missing in the wasteland, the organization of the state that fosters the use and development of all best of the ancient tech.
BOS has all these toys and no where to play. Like worshiping a violin and never hearing it play. Fiddling around can be fine.
But.
Never fostering the grander organization of symphonies to experience this violin in its' true natural, native context.

Monasteries and citadels are havens when other powers organize the populace when BOS low profile natural guerilla -- power of the weak.

BOS out of the closet. Dazzling the locals with mighty lions, while the foxes grab the tech, ply with propaganda, plot the politics.


Four: FEV and the denial resources.

FEV used to create Mutants. Unnatural biological change. Goes beyond medical enhancement of the species. After successful mutation, recruits fill enemy army of continental conquest.

Deny Mutants recruits. Arm, train humans. Organize villages into states. Humans that die fighting Mutants, are not a recruits. Arm the humans, and let them know who armed them. Create the reciprocal obligation of fealty. An esprit of shared hardship. BOS not the king -- the king maker.

A vaccine of certain radiation contamination may defeat successful dipping. A less toxic vaccine is necessary to discourage dipping efforts with out crippling the populace. Scorched earth policy engages when significant population of dipping candidates is in jeopardy of being captured if mass scarring by radiation not possible, then annihilation of victims may be necessary. Whole tribes, whole villages, whole vaults if necessary.

Time bomb. Dooms day clock. BOS armed city dwellers may not be problem, may not be candidates for dipping. The clean candidates are in the Vaults. If vault in danger of being over run, then the only good vault dweller is a dead vault dweller.

FEV users, Master's Mutants. Enclave. Unknown third party?

Regular mutants no sophisticated R+D to change process to over come 'vaccination.
Enclave may develop tech to work around inconvenience of rad contamination and any developed FEV vaccine resistance.
While search for old tech and old tech sites, look for other players if mutants encountered not from Masters Army.

The angels of the BOS , may not have the 'boots on the ground' to hold and be avenging angels, may have to be dooms day shivas to deny competitors tech, and BOS enemies whole populations.


Situational ethics ... institutional ethics ... survival is first and then comes control. Negotiate with strength, or manipulate from the shadows.
Rule by respect by day, and foster fear in the night.

Control isn't every thing, it's the only thing.


/////////////////////////

4too
 
Still dizzying to read.

I think the problems here, from the perspective of the contest, are twofold: one is the way you present the story, as kind of quick ideas which won't be particularly readable for most people. Two is the fact that it's really multiple ideas all in one and doesn't finish up on any of 'em.
 
Re: BOS DC

4too said:
BOS DC



One: the set up.


Assessment In Text Images

Lifeboat situation. Not enough room, not enough time, not enough resources.

Not enough local cooperation,


shift in metaphor,


and once again, not enough boots on the ground.

I like this idea of not enough resources and not enough boots on the ground.

To me this sounds almost metaphorical of Iraq- a war over resources and yet a war in which to few soldiers are sent.

Not enough local cooperation- the BOS are insular and are paying for it.

Shift in like and as,


A Lion And A Fox.


A lion falls in trap, fox sees traps, fox fears wolves, lion dominates wolves.

Circular puzzle one-ups-man-ship matching scenario similar to scissors, paper, rock.

Animal imagery, this an Aesop fable? Cartoon folk wisdom to prove some moral point?

No and yes, not Aesop but Machiavelli, and it is wisdom that proves a moral point.
Too cynical a sage? Well a fable of real politick, a hard knocks moral point of view.
Saint Mach's primer to his Prince was very concerned with morals.
Be prepared and be the power.

Know the nature of man.

I like the references to Machiavelli here. But I suspect a lot of the allusions here would be lost on a lot of readers.

Love is fickle. Fear is certain. Fear that brews hate is a liability. Fear that nurtures respect is the corner stone of the state.

Know the nature of man, cut a deal.

Again- Machiavelli

Two: Play the cards as dealt.


After this picturesque moral maneuvering, an obvious oblique granting of freedom of action, permission to pursue the ends by divergent means,
this all come around to the scarcity of resources.

Boots on the ground.

It all comes around to boots on the ground.

The imperative of control, that forged the hull down secrecy of the organization, was validating a coming out.

Not the stock tomb raid.

To glean the mountain of tech information, to harvest the hardware would take time, would mean controlling the path in, the perimeter of the dig, and the path out.

Any significant site might justify a fortified camp. If the old Pentagon was reasonably intact, that might require a citadel.

That's cool. We see the creation of the Citadel and see the thinking behind the BOS plan.

Open competition of local hostiles and third party tech harvesters requires securing territory, requires boots on the ground.

And there is the repetition of boots on the ground. This is why I think I made reference to you about the Jamaica Kincaid story. The theme repeated like the refrain of a song.

By huff and by bluff, by fear and favors, by BOS paladins and local recruits, state craft necessitated nation building. Empowering loyal locals and cutting the deal
of fealty. The obligation was two edged, if not always two ways.

Offer selected arms and technological improvements. Offer organizing a city state. Control the territory.



Three: Variations on the control theme.


Holding of resources is for turf protecters, the lions.

Looting the tombs can be a darker craft, for the foxes.

The denial of anything to BOS competitors or out right enemies takes a special turn of any of the above.

A dark turn.

Beyond the benign neglect and the covert surveillance, a scorched earth policy.

Not enough boots on the ground, then consider the power of the weak.
Sleeper guerilla cells, listening posts, and the denial of resources.

Actions of a weaker player, not enough boots on the ground. The lions need to foster a local state, a local rule of order as buffer and market.

As I read this the tension builds up. Things are becoming more interesting and more alive, and more complicated.

Foxes collect the tech, market the tech.

The tech most missing in the wasteland, the organization of the state that fosters the use and development of all best of the ancient tech.
BOS has all these toys and no where to play. Like worshiping a violin and never hearing it play. Fiddling around can be fine.
But.
Never fostering the grander organization of symphonies to experience this violin in its' true natural, native context. [/quote[]

Again a nice metaphor but I suspect a bit over played.

Monasteries and citadels are havens when other powers organize the populace when BOS low profile natural guerilla -- power of the weak.

BOS out of the closet. Dazzling the locals with mighty lions, while the foxes grab the tech, ply with propaganda, plot the politics.


Four: FEV and the denial resources.

FEV used to create Mutants. Unnatural biological change. Goes beyond medical enhancement of the species. After successful mutation, recruits fill enemy army of continental conquest.

Deny Mutants recruits. Arm, train humans. Organize villages into states. Humans that die fighting Mutants, are not a recruits. Arm the humans, and let them know who armed them. Create the reciprocal obligation of fealty. An esprit of shared hardship. BOS not the king -- the king maker.

I like the colonial aspects of this. As well as the notion that the world is a zero-sum game in which lost soldiers mean less mutants. I think that's pretty cool.

A vaccine of certain radiation contamination may defeat successful dipping. A less toxic vaccine is necessary to discourage dipping efforts with out crippling the populace. Scorched earth policy engages when significant population of dipping candidates is in jeopardy of being captured if mass scarring by radiation not possible, then annihilation of victims may be necessary. Whole tribes, whole villages, whole vaults if necessary.

Time bomb. Dooms day clock. BOS armed city dwellers may not be problem, may not be candidates for dipping. The clean candidates are in the Vaults. If vault in danger of being over run, then the only good vault dweller is a dead vault dweller.

FEV users, Master's Mutants. Enclave. Unknown third party?

Regular mutants no sophisticated R+D to change process to over come 'vaccination.
Enclave may develop tech to work around inconvenience of rad contamination and any developed FEV vaccine resistance.
While search for old tech and old tech sites, look for other players if mutants encountered not from Masters Army.

The angels of the BOS , may not have the 'boots on the ground' to hold and be avenging angels, may have to be dooms day shivas to deny competitors tech, and BOS enemies whole populations.


Situational ethics ... institutional ethics ... survival is first and then comes control. Negotiate with strength, or manipulate from the shadows.
Rule by respect by day, and foster fear in the night.

Control isn't every thing, it's the only thing.


/////////////////////////

4too


Again, I like how what you are saying offers a visions of a doomsday competition that the BOS offers leading to its own apocalypse.

In Fallout 1 and 2, I always got the feeling that the players were dealing with legacies of the pre-war. Here it seems that Fallout 3 offers a response to what happened in Fallout 1 and 2, and thus ties the series together.

So that's a cool vision for a story.

But the problem is that it still seems fragmentary. IN terms of narrative its difficult to follow.

4too- your strength is that you tie in interesting ideas and push people to mull through the language and figure out the ties that bind these ideas together. The story itself should be a unified whole.

But I got the impression from reading this that the story was still too much fragments, too much allusion and not enough substance.

The other problem was whether the story form could carry with the audience. I am not sure. I get the feeling you are telling me "this is what the story is about" but not really saying- this is the story.
 
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