I just had some shitty news.

J

Josh

Vault Senior Citizen
Hello guys

Got a phone call late last night. Me Dad seems to have, well, had a fucking heart attack. I could really use some advice as such an illness in the family is a thing i have been lucky to not yet experience.

I visited him last night, that was fucking horrible. He's the sort of man who's never ill, and seeing him on his back was a certainly alien sight. They're doing tests ever hour, but their not keeping us about, so i don't think it is as dangerous as it first looked to be. Still though, facing the idea that he might not live is really fucking hard, anyone got advice on how to deal with this sort of thing?

Secondly, one for all you law buffs. Me Dad lives a rather high stress life, but as i understand it, what was the final thing to bring him to this was a fucking minor car crash. Only a mirror was bust, and me Dad admitted half responsibility. The fucking chavs in the other car however threatened him with serious violence, and torrents of verbal abuse for about half an hour. The police never showed up, even though he fucking rang three times, so he could have been seriously hurt, being a man of 50 and so not the able man he once was. He eventually left the scene, without giving them insurance details, but instead his phone number, so he could find them later. When he got home, an already present tightness in his chest got worse, and worse, then he, well, had a heart attack. I am simply wondering if since this abuse he received obviously contributed seriously to the heart attack, if it is indeed worth going to the fucking useless twats in blue about it.

Thanks in advice guys, i really appreciate it. Anyway, off too the hospital i go.
 
Not to be mean or anything, but I speak from my own experience(s) when I say that if one of these things happen, more will follow. The most recent example is the one of my grandma, which was, until she broke her femur, a self-claimed candidate for being the healthiest oldie I've ever seen; 85 years old, with the health (and wealth) of a 50-year old, and no signs of dementia at all, heck, I'd be the dement one compared to her. But after she broke her thigh, it all went down, and 6 months after she had a tumor the size of an apple in her guts.

Of course I'm no doctor, but when you see these misfortunes take place after a single incident at several occasions, you know there's something in it.

The best I could do out of my situation(s) was to <strike>hardly</strike> easily accept what was happening; even if she was half-rotten and unable to speak, I'll always remember those last months.

Just stay calm, and at least you'll be alright...
 
that sucks man. But there is a lot of meaning in Zarons words. It is hard for everyone, so don't forget your family. They need you in times like these.
 
Really hope your dad pulls through, been there myself.. it's a nightmare. Can't really offer any advice on how to deal with it, for me it felt like the whole first week was on rails, and I was along for the ride - whether I liked it or not. One thing to bear in mind, though it's clearly early days, is that the NHS (noticed your UK) will try and throw people out of hospital as soon as possible, regardless of whether the patient feels they are ready.

When my grandad had his first, he was rushed in, spent a few days there recovering and thankfully came around. He still felt a bit dodgy though, but was given the all clear and discharged (without being given any medication). A few days later his vision went funny, and we took him back - they dismissed it. Two days later he had another major one, which has left him permanently messed up (and had him in a high dependency unit for two months). Moral is: Be on your toes, and be prepared to challenge any doctor's decisions you feel aren't in your dad's best interests, they do get it wrong.

I know 5 people who've had heart attacks, and all have pulled through. Only my gramp's has been seriously incapacitated (and that imo could have been avoided). So stay positive, but do keep alert for any future warning signs - these things seem to come in pairs.

Regarding the accident, dare say something could be done, but for the time being (personally) I'd focus on making sure your dad gets first class treatment. Hopefully then there will be plenty of time to chase anyone on that front.

Hope everything pans out ok.
 
I know how your dad feels... I've been in his shoes... and it's not a pleasant experience. But if it is of any consolation, I've been in your shoes too... my grandma-in-law suffered repeated heart-attacks. I can't count how many in the decade I knew her, and even more prior to my husband and I meeting. We all joked how she'd out-live all of her kids, and even us grandkids. Truth be told, she outlived one of her kids, and some of my generation (in my family, not my husband's).

Just keep a watchful eye on him, make life as easy for him as possible in the upcoming months (and if he's stubborn, then 'easy' might translate to 'kindly letting him do it himself, but helping out if he wants/needs it'), and be watchful of what is in his best interest in the present... doctors can and do make mistakes, so don't be afraid to get a second opinion if the first sounds too far fetched. If he's taking any medication, make sure the doctor knows about what exactly he's taking, to avoid conflicts.

And I'll keep him in my prayers.
 
I'm sorry to hear that. I wish I could offer some advice, but I've never really been in this kind of situation.

I think everything said above is a good idea, stay calm, make sure he's ok, etc.

Good luck.
 
This sucks, Josh.

Your pa is going to have to change his lifestyle, probably going to take some medication. Heart failure is serious, but it can be stopped, though you'll positively have to go see some doctors about that and have them make some recommendations. If he continues with stress et al, more is bound to follow. Hope you can both make this through. Best of luck.

As for reporting that to the boys in blue, well, it depends, but since you're dealing with low-lifes here, I think it's better to have a history with the police, just in case.
 
Thanks a lot guys, the advice and sympathy is very appreciated. I visited him today, and even though he's really down, I've been told that the meds they gave him have actually unclotted his vessels or what ever, and if nothing else happens, he should be home by the end of the week, which is great.

As for the police thing, I've been tasked with sorting that out, and so i've concluded that i won't do anything until they contact us. If they don't, they were all mouth and realized that the damage caused is only about 30 quids worth, and so don't want to get any companies involved. If they do how ever contact me, to the police i go, i guess.

Again, thanks.
 
Hey man, I know I'm new here, but I just wanted to offer my sympathy.

I hope the police situation gets sorted out with the least possible drama.

All the best to you and your family. :(
 
That sucks to hear man, so sorry about that.

Strangely enough, I had a very similar experience in November last year. My Dad also suffered a heart attack, and he seems to be the same "type" as yours. Almost never ill, and he has a very hard time to actually admit it when he is, hehe. He also owns a small business (which is very dear to him, and brings stress) and have been eating meds to lower his bloodpressure for a long time.

I had just gone out of town (about an 8hour ride from where I live) to visit a friend of mine. As soon as I stepped into the house where my friend lives, my phone rings. My Mother saying that Dad is in the hospital, and I broke down and wept like a baby. Family is very important to me. So I went straight back home.

My Dad was in really bad shape when I first saw him, blood pressure was sky high and he was very stressed by the situation. The hospital was overfilled, so he had to cope with being put in the emergency wing where there were people dying and screaming next to him the following night which really stressed him badly.

Anyways, it turned out be quite serious so he was scheduled for a By-pass operation. This further devastated him as he can't take to be "kept in an isolated space" so to speak.
He was soon moved to another hospital in a nearby town, and from there on things actually changed. The doctors managed to get his blood pressure down to normal levels for the first time ever in my life (which the fucking hack of a doctor we had been going to previously never managed).
After a few weeks he did the operation, and while it was hard for him the following days and to a lesser extent the follow weeks, he was so happy on the day when they said that he could go home. He actually cried when he got back home, and I can't ever recall seeing my Dad cry before that.

The fact that he might as well could've been dead (the doctor told us he'd been very lucky) is, like you said, something that is really hard to think about.

While the by-pass operation isn't fail-safe, he now seems more healthy than I've seen him in a very long time. He still runs his business but he has cut down about 3 hours on his working day, and he actually seems very happy about it and the customers have gotten used to it and respect it.

If there is a bright side, it's that people often become aware of their problems when something like this happens, and perhaps those meds he has gotten (and will get perhaps) will make him feel better than he has in a long time. My dad quit smoking, and cut down on his drinking quite a bit, though he is still not very keen on eating the veggies (can't say I am either though).

But yeah, make sure to keep an eye on him if he's the stubborn type and help him out as much as you can, and just give him support. Hope it works out for you guys.
 
Wow, dude, that must like totally suck. Your father will have to drastically change his lifestyle. Cut down on booze and meat and fat and sex and what have you. As long as he doesn't suffer a new one soon, he could still live to be 130, though. Pace-makers, you know. Them doctors have got all sorts of solutions for weak hearts nowadays. You know what they say: always look on the bright side of life!

No history of heart attacks in my family, thank Gawd. Also: it seems that the drugs I take for my migraine are often used by heart patients to avoid a new stroke. That's what I call "being pro-active".
 
Hey Josh-

Sorry to hear about your dad. But a lot of guys get a heart attack and it leads to a change in lifestyle- new diets, less stress, etc - and I have known a few guys to get heart attacks and live very long lives. My father-in-law for instance had one about 20 years ago and is doing well.

As for the legal implications- yes, there are doctrines of emotional distress that might apply to this case. Normally a person has to be rather sensitive to such things and often there has to be some injury to tie in. If your father was visibly threatened and believed he would be in a fight, than its possible he can sue based on the tort of assault (an apprehensive a harmful touching). I will have to see if you can go for mental distress.

THere is a second legal doctrine called the "egg shell defendent" which basically goes- if the injurer does something and, low and behold, the person dies because of a pre-existing condition, the injurer is fucked.

Think of this as the Humpty-Dumpty theory- if a simple fall cracks the shell, the person causing the fall is responsible the injury.

Fault lies in causing the injury. If the damages were unforeseeable, that's too bad, he's still responsibile.

I'll have to check on this for more detail- but yes, its worth going to a lawyer about.
 
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