Mask Girl T-Shirt

[Arachnivore]

I'm working on a t-shirt design that I hope to submit to Threadless when I'm finished. All I have now is a character who will be the focal point of the design and a few half baked plans for the rest of it. I want this to be perfect so please let me know what you like and especially what you don't like about it.

Here's what I've got so far.

I was thinking of either putting her in a three-panel comic (without any words) or making a parody of this poster (with the girl in place of the exuberant woman):

I'd probably go without text on the propaganda poster but some people told me they thought it would be better with text. The Threadless community tends to frown on text, but if I did use text it would say something like, "They are the future. Fight for tomorrow!".

I could also combine the two concepts and have a comic where the last frame is either a zoom in on the poster, or the girl is standing in front of the poster blocking the image of the woman or casting a shadow on it.

Any thoughts?

 

[SuAside]

that gasmask is pretty fucking badly designed...

 

[Wooz]

Yes. Either skip the eye, or draw it properly.

 

[Arachnivore]

I think it's actually just over sized. It's based on this photo:

The biggest change I made was replacing that tube with a vent. Anyway, it doesn't fit the girl properly which I kind of like. Gas masks usually have a dehumanizing effect. I didn't want that. By wearing a mask that's too big for her it I thought it emphasized that she was forced to cope with problems that she's too young to understand. I don't know, I guess that's pretty pretentious.

Does that explanation help at all? I hope so because I don't know how I would change the mask and retain the feel I want.

 

[Wooz]

The explanation does not help. If you want us to point out what looks bad, don't excuse it.

That doesn't look like a nose, it's pretty unclear as to what it is without the original pic. Also, one doesn't get the feeling it's a glass visor, it just looks like a hole.

 

[Arachnivore]

I see what you mean about the nose. I'll try to fix that.
I'm not trying to excuse your comments. In fact, I appreciate them. I can tell that what I have right now is at best confusing and at worst unappealing. With so little of the girl's face showing, It's hard to discern which way she is facing or that the mask is off kilter. Especially when I messed up drawing her nose. Hopefully when I fix the nose and add a body it will give you a better indication of her orientation and make at least as much sense as the picture I based it off of.

Do you think that the photo that I'm basing the design on is simply too awkward because of the skewed mask? Should I start over and just attempt to draw the girl with a mask that fits at an angle that shows her eyes or should I fix the nose, add a body, and see if that helps?

I'll try to fix/add to the picture this weekend. Thanks for your comments.

 

[Wooz]

You could make the lens on the left a bit bigger, and include a wee bit of the girl's eye to show the face a bit more clearly; then make the lens look like it's made of glass, dunno, mebbe a reflection?

Otherwise, you still can try another angle.

 

[Hotel California]

This is just really rough but you need to re angle the eye so you can only see the right one.

The reflection on the glass can be done really simply with lighter lines.

 

[Arachnivore]

A little better? Still no good?

I think the nose still needs a little work. And I still have homework that needs a little more procrastination. What a coincidence!

 

[Ah-Teen]

I really had to look hard to figure out what the difference was. Try putting some kind light shine to emphasize the eye piece. Not much, just enough to be noticed and to show something is there.

Edit
Like that but not as heavy. You don't want to lose that stuff inside.
::
::
v

 

[Arachnivore]

Minor update:

I changed the colors to add more contrast. Also, I'm only allowed to use 5 colors (not including the shirt color) for a Threadless submission, so making the darkest color the same color as the maroon Threadless shirt gives me the option of adding a sixth color if I need to (hopefully I won't).

I made the left lens about 5% larger so I could get just a tiny bit of her right eye in the shot and I worked a little more on the nose. I'm pretty bad about facial proportions so let me know if I need to adjust her eyes or nose anymore.

I also added a more noticeable glare to the lens and some notes on what I intend to fix this weekend.

Figure A is a shot of my last update for comparison.

Figure B is an alternative to the new glare.

Figure C is a larger, more gradiated version of the old glare.

I kind of like Figure C because it doesn't create a distracting fixation point like the other glares do, but I don't know if I like it as much as the new glare. I might be able to make the gradient look better if I use my spare pallet color to bridge the gap between colors 4 & 5.

Hopefully my next update will include some rough layouts for the rest of the scene and some sketches of the body. I really appreciate the input. I think it's starting to look a lot better. Thanks!

[edit] I think I need to make the left lens a little bigger and nudge it to the left a little more because her right eye is exposed just enough to be awkward. I don't know, I'll keep messing with it.

 

[Ah-Teen]

It's looking real good. Don't over work the bottom of the filter, you might draw too much attention to it.

I know this isn't the same gas mask but it shows the bottom of similar filter very well.

Here is another image of the gas mask your using

 

[Arachnivore]

I was thinking more along the lines of this:

 

[Hotel California]

I think the problem is that the eyes are two small.

Imagine she isn't wearing a gas mask at all - her face is clear.

Now tell me that those eyes and nose are the right size ...

They need to be at least 1.5x (maybe 2x) bigger!

The mask looks good as it is - it just needs less whispy bits and more hard lines!

 

[alec]

I agree: the drawing is basically completely wrong. The size and position of the eyes do not make any sense at all. It now looks as if she is looking through only one lens with both her eyes.

You know: it might not be a bad idea to start over. I know you'll hate to hear that, but drawings can only take so much abuse, and your drawing, well, has been buttraped. Trying to fix it, will probably cost you more time than trying again.

Just sayin', that's all.

I do like the colour scheme. A lot.

 

[Ah-Teen]

I somewhat disagree with both of you. The face looks out of place because it's a child in a child's gas mask. Her young over sized head is making it look like the nose and eye are too low. This wouldn't be a problem if there was no gas mask, she'd just look like a young child. After looking at the picture he's basing it on it looks correct. But it is just a little low.

However keep in mind your audience has not seen the original picture, you may have to fudge reality for what seem like better proportions.

Just kind of came to me what made me feel something was wrong, she doesn't look like a child. She just doesn't seem very child like and I think thats part of the problem the others are seeing. From our point of view she looks like an adult and should have the proportions of one. This goes back to your audience and what they do not know. You might try adding a bit more of her to give the audience a little context.

 

[alec]

I somewhat disagree with both of you. The face looks out of place because it's a child in a child's gas mask. Her young over sized head is making it look like the nose and eye are too low.

She just doesn't seem very child like and I think thats part of the problem the others are seeing. From our point of view she looks like an adult and should have the proportions of one.

That doesn't make any sense. In no way are the proportions between a child's face and that of a grownup different: the position of eyes, nose, mouth and ears is pretty much identical (even babies' faces only differ very slightly). The proportion between the size of the head and the rest of the body is different, that's obvious, but the physionomy is the same.
Sorry to disappoint you there, kid.

 

[Ah-Teen]

I somewhat disagree with both of you. The face looks out of place because it's a child in a child's gas mask. Her young over sized head is making it look like the nose and eye are too low.

She just doesn't seem very child like and I think thats part of the problem the others are seeing. From our point of view she looks like an adult and should have the proportions of one.

That doesn't make any sense. In no way are the proportions between a child's face and that of a grownup different: the position of eyes, nose, mouth and ears is pretty much identical (even babies' faces only differ very slightly). The proportion between the size of the head and the rest of the body is different, that's obvious, but the physionomy is the same.
Sorry to disappoint you there, kid.

Most of the babies I've seen appear to have a larger forhead and larger eyes and a rounder face. Maybe I'm just around alot of weird babies. Though I admit I've never actually drawn one.

 

[alec]

I somewhat disagree with both of you. The face looks out of place because it's a child in a child's gas mask. Her young over sized head is making it look like the nose and eye are too low.

She just doesn't seem very child like and I think thats part of the problem the others are seeing. From our point of view she looks like an adult and should have the proportions of one.

That doesn't make any sense. In no way are the proportions between a child's face and that of a grownup different: the position of eyes, nose, mouth and ears is pretty much identical (even babies' faces only differ very slightly). The proportion between the size of the head and the rest of the body is different, that's obvious, but the physionomy is the same.
Sorry to disappoint you there, kid.

Most of the babies I've seen appear to have a larger forhead and larger eyes and a rounder face. Maybe I'm just around alot of weird babies. Though I admit I've never actually drawn one.

Sheesh... As I wrote: yes, babies' faces differ slightly. That lasts for about 1 year. Then all that shit on a person's face is in pretty much the right place (although it keeps moving/growing/changing throughout a person's life, but you get the point. I hope.

Plus: it ain't a baby he's drawing.

 

[Ah-Teen]

Yeah I get your point. I spent some time looking at the proportions on some other pictures and I'll admit I'm wrong. Mostly.