Screech makes porn, performs Dirty Sanchez

M

Malky

Lived Through the Heat Death
Orderite
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/456104p-383834c.html

Porn star's name
may ring a 'Bell'

Sex education Dustin (Screech) Diamond will be appearing in a way many of his fans hoped never ever to see him.
He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom "Saved by the Bell." But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.

Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.

We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez."

Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered some of Hollywood's biggest celebrity-skin deals, confirms that he's acquired the rights to a tape featuring Diamond.

"Just when you think you have seen everything in this business," he tells us, "mankind has raised the bar another notch. Or lowered it."

Schmidt is in L.A., shopping the tape to Hustler's Larry Flynt, Vivid's Steven Hirsch and other major distributors of adult video.

Now age 29, the 6-foot Diamond is much brawnier than you may remember him. He's a black belt in karate, and, four years ago, he defeated Ron Palillo (Horshack on "Welcome Back, Kotter") on Fox's "Celebrity Boxing 2."

Diamond's manager, Roger Paul, said his client has become a successful standup comic and will appear on the ABC sitcom "The Knights of Prosperity."

"I haven't seen the tape," Paul told us. "I've heard rumors. Dustin has been trying to escape the Screech typecast. So this may help me get more bookings."

In 1996, former "Saved by the Bell" sweetheart Elizabeth Berkley bared all in the Paul Verhoeven-Joe Eszterhas trashterpiece, "Show Girls."

The sex vid's working title is "Saved by the Smell." Ewwwww.
Click to expand...


A little piece of my childhood just died.
 
Saved by the Bell was shit. It wasn't even cool in that trashy way. Except for Elizabeth Berkley. I'd hit her with a vengeance.
 
You'd hit anything that moves on two legs, insect! However, apparently you're not so discriminate sometimes.

;)
 
For your information I have a very discriminative taste in females.
It just so happens that I'm not so discriminating when it comes to hitting them.
In other words, I wouldn't date (someone like) Elizabeth Berkley but I would hit her like a ton of bricks, savy?

Ummm, what were we talking about, again?
 
DirtyDreamDesigner said:
In other words, I wouldn't date (someone like) Elizabeth Berkley but I would hit her like a ton of bricks, savy?
Click to expand...

Like hitting shemales aigt aigt

savy is just soooo gay

totally 90´s


forgive me, im drnk
 
Malky said:
A little piece of my childhood just died.
Click to expand...

I hereby send your childhood to Auschwitz by inferring a Berkley-Screech sex tape. Enjoy it straight from my Magic Murder Bag.
 
Wait, if Tommy lee has Hepatitis, doesn't that mean Pamela has it too? Or was it after?
 
More power to the both of 'em. I'd look it up, but I'm too busy remembering how much I reviled Saved By The Bell. And trying to invent a sex act called the "Dirty Screech."
 
There you have it, folks. The end of the universe.

What's next, Barney the dinosaur attends a Klan-meeting? Gilbert Gottfried stars in a scat-eating video? Aerosmith commits genocide?
 
DirtDigger2000 said:
All i want to know is what is Bukkake? :?:
Click to expand...

It's ewww x 2. Here's the basic premise...


i-5073.jpg
 
THEY LIKE BUKKAKEE

...

Yes. Right.

In case you're serioulsy oblivious to the wonders of Japanese porn, here's the basic premise in words:

If a man, and a man, and another man, and a lot more other men, and then another man, REALLY REALLY likes a woman, and then decides that she needs more proteins. Externally.

The Japanese version is like a gangbang without sex. Just the final mess.

The American/European version usually includes sex, so it's pretty much just a gangbang with lots and lots of men and only a few wimenz.

Now run in fear before I explain to you how guro hentai works.
 
#1 Bukkake is when lots of men jerk off and squirt their loads on a woman's face. It's gross in lots of ways, although I must admit to have played with myself - and on more than one occasion, I might add - whilst looking at pics of such cum drenched slutfaces. Don't ask me why.

#2 Elizabeth Berkley is totally hot. That girl has a great body: long legs, nice butt, nice titties, probably nice feet as well. The face is a little je-ne-sais-quoi, but fuck that, I only do doggystyle on a first date anyway.

#3 Screech sucks.

#4 Whose feces were being Dirty Sanchez'ed to whose upperlip anyway? Can anyone tell me, 'cause if it's Screech putting a finger up his arse and wiping it off under some hot chick's nose, well, that's just totally disgusting. But if it's like him taking his shit stained cock out of some hot chick's cornhole and then wiping his cock off on this chick's upperlip or some other hot girl's upperlip, well, that would totally rule. Or if it was one of these hot chicks, dipping her finger into the other women's sphincter and then wiping it off under Screech's nose, that would rule even more.

:roll:

Yeah.

:roll:

Whoa! WTF? This isn't The Order...

:shock:
 
Screech? In the Porn-Buisness?

While my childhood memories are slowly crumbling away the more I think about it, I think my friend owes me $10 now...
 
This not being The Order and me not even having a remote idea of who Screech is, let me only say one thing in response to alec's fantasies there:

EWWWWWW.

At least bukkake only involves things that would appear in normal human sexual intercourse.

Thank you for your cooperation.
 
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