The absolute Scum of GAming Experiences

H

horse

Vault Fossil
Orderite
since i was unable to unearth any old threads regarding this very entertaining part of gaming (by flipping through the first 3 pages of this forum mildly drunk), i made one. look! i made it myself!

i would very much enjoy your tales of the most horrible, fugly or otherwise disconcerting experiences in gaming. might be a list, or certain events in otherwise ok games, or anything else.

for me, it was quite clearly postal 2. i hated postal, and used it as a cathartic vent at the time when online gaming was not very popular, and expensive as hell. somehow, i found a copy of postal 2 in my quite large game collection, and installed it. this game... is horrible. from the crappy start menu to the ridiculous voicings to the crapula of level-, weapons- and npc-design... it is just awful, it hurts all parts of me that are under other circumstances able and willing to value good design, music and gameplay. i am sure there are other games like that, with all the rip-offs. but this one is the golden dingleberry of wasted efforts. its a cornucopia of coprophagia.

sadly, i cannot offer a list, i choose games quite carefully. i might edit something in later, and in the meantime i look forward to your rantings.
 
I have finished ALL the games I've ever touched in my life, except for these %$#@ games from Ubisoft:

Prince of Persia
Prince of Persia 2
Prince of Persia Sands of Time
Prince of Persia Warrior Within
Prince of Persia Two Thrones

Seriously, I don't know what the hell went wrong, but these games were simply unbeatable and a black mark in my gaming history. If anyone is wondering "maybe Makenshi is not a good player", well... among the rock-hard games I've beaten there are these two masterpieces of hellish hardness:

Contra 3
Actraiser (yeah baby, I did it :twisted: )

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Big Edit:

I remembered what went wrong in Sands of Time: no matter how greatly I fought the endless mob at the circular elevator, the woman in red using a bow (Fara, iirc) ALWAYS died, despite my super-human efforts to kill the beats attacking her - they conveniently ignored the major threat around (me) to kill her, and she never moved one step to help me save her sorry ass. :evil:

I also remembered what went wrong In Two Thrones: I stopped at a boss fight; two invulnerable guys using respectively a HUGE axe and a HUGE sword, both faster than me (who used a dagger...). The battle took place at a small enough place surrounded by magma and I heard the ONLY way to win is by letting the axe guy hit the prince (and he does it hard), so that his axe get stuck in the ground and he's vulnerable to one single attack - not one of the combos, because the sword guy imediatelly goes berserk to defend his partner and sometimes one hit kills the prince.

:yuck:
 
Assassin's Creed: When I heard that this game was going to have some futuristic elements, I knew it was heading in the wrong direction. After hearing that whole genetic memory spiel, I knew I was in for a bad time. Combine that with some of the worst stealth mechanics since the original Hitman and you can understand why I stopped playing this about 20 minutes in.

The Bourne Conspiracy: Seriously, I don't know how people could think this game is good. The combat is 90% retarded hand to hand combat and 10% horrendous shooting. The fact that the designers put in a button that immediately ends the HtH combat speaks volumes about the game itself.

Gears of War: I didn't know why people looked forward to this game and I still can't understand why people still like it. From the terrible story and stereotypical characters (BLACK MAN DON' NEED NO SLEEVES FO' HIS POWA' ARMUH!) to the horrible game mechanics like Active Reload (I PUT THE BULLETS IN BETTER THAN NORMAL, EXTRA DAMAGE!), The NOTICE THIS button (Because I seriously wouldn't have noticed the giant propane tank right there) and the sheer audacity of the melee combat (Curbstomping on a battlefield? No, just no.). It's like this game was designed just to piss the everloving hell out of me.
 
Icewind Dale 2 : installed it, played it for like ten minutes, thought "WTF ?", uninstalled it.

Blacksite : Well, there is too much to be said about this one :evil: It's a perfect illustration of what should never be done if you plan on developping a good FPS. It's an arrogant, unfinished, shitty piece of junk.

The Fall : could have been ok but it's just pretty bad. Even more unfinished than Blacksite. The combat system is ok but the storyline is uninteresting. Also the systems requirement for this game are insane while it looks rather bad...

Boiling Point : jeez...WTF ? Were they serious when they released it ? What a fucking joke...Take the combat system of Morrowind, make it worse, dip it into a vat of bugs and of fugly graphics then release it.

Splinter Cell : Double Agent : I really loved Chaos Theory but this one was just bad. A bad action game with less impressive graphics than the previous game ( :? ), an ok storyline ( while Chaos Theory's story was rather cool even though terribly cliché ) and an annoying system for the double agent thing. Nah it sucked...

That's it for now but I'm sure I've played far worse than that.
 
thank god i dont own a console. these prince of persia and gears of war and stuff are for consoles, right?

why 'the fall' man, why the fall? well, it is not that good... its like that 'special' kid, you have to treat it with love and extra-caring... it has its moments when you just hate it, but i overcame that by showering the game (and my perception of it) with overwhelming loev!!11

one of my most frustrating gaming experiences was level 24 or 26 in giana sisters. that is a level where nearly every platform is deadly, spikes everywhere, you had to literally jump exactly to that one pixel to survive. nevertheless, i finished it several times.

another (more funky) one was when i reloaded a game of operation flashpoint to shoot down a HIND with my last rpg. took me like 1 hour to finally donw that mother. i think it was resistance, quite early in the game, after you encounter some enemy forces in and around a gas station.

oh, and nevar forget the last few levels of doom 2. that chasm level where i always fell down some microscopic ledges to JUST HAVE TO §$%ING START ALL OVER AGAIN, again.
 
Bioshock : After you get past the pretty water effects; you'll grow tired of the throwaway story, zero variety in enemies, moronic AI, and poorly handling weapons.

Ragdoll Kung-fu : Imagine controlling a puppet and making it fight other puppets ninja style. Have I lost you yet? No? Well, now imagine controlling said ninja puppet with strings of melted cheese dripping from your hand to the puppet... and you've got what these controls feel like.

Every Tomb Raider game after II : Big polygonal tits are a good thing, but brutally unforgiving timed jumping puzzles that were simply a rehash of the first two games combined with terrible controls are not.


*edit*

Oh, and Gears of War is probably the most refined coop shooter out there.
 
I mention this game everytime this topic comes up, but it seems the perfect fit.

Psychonauts. Absolutely BRILLIANT game and one of the best... up until the last ten minutes. Suddenly, the game turns into this obnoxious platformer where you have to protect one character from countless attackers (really... why must they do this to us?) while also accomplishing other oturageous tasks.

Needless to say, I stopped playing there. But I was so interested to see what happened, that I extracted the endgame video and watched it.
 
god, get ready for some absolute drivel.

devil may cry 4:
if you dont have an xbox controller, dont try to play it. so many sequences suck very very badly without one. the keyboard layout feels like it was designed by a 10 yr old. like no mouse support at all.

fable did it better. hell of a lot better.

resident evil 4:
this game may have lasted 30m on my computer, but i would be including the install time.

if ever you want to play a game that is unplayable on the PC, this is it. wsad is your normal moving keys, but then rather than using a mouse to aim, you have to use your keyboard. no there is no option to map a mouse. the game wont even recognized there is a mouse. its a FPS without mouse support.

thats right. think about that for a bit. fps without mouse support on the PC.



Gears of War:

very polished, very nice graphics, ok plot, shitty controls. it feels like someone played HL/Doom and then said fuck it, everything you can do will be spacebar or shooting.

shitty controls.

Fate:

kids version of D2. while good and decent in of itself, not something that interested me for a long period of time.


Hellgate London:

good D2 but feels like you run around to places you have already cleared too many times. also, im at the end and every time i come to necropolis 2 trying to get to 3, my game LDs which means i cannot complete normal mode multiplayer. oh, and if you are disconnected for even a microsecond, all progress is lost. so you have to start all over.

there are some great guns at the start, my favorite being the field based rocket launcher, but to keep using it at level 25, you have to spend a LOT of precious resources to keep "upgrading" the item level. guns are only available for so long as they are replaced every few levels. annoying as fuck mechanic.
 
hmm that hellgate mechanisms just sound like what happened in diablo2. as i play amazons mostly (fastest killers imho), i know the experience of upgrading to another bow every few levels. and sometimes losing a good socketed one in the progress (a5 quest socket). people keep telling me it gets boring and tedious, especially some quests seem to be extremely annoying (some quest where you had to drag some machine parts back to the quest giver, and that 3 times), but i think ill give it a try when it lies in the cheap bins
 
MrBumble said:
Icewind Dale 2 : installed it, played it for like ten minutes, thought "WTF ?", uninstalled it.
Click to expand...

For you, like me, the little squirrel is the highlight of that game...

I have some serious beef with Masters of Orion... I never understood how anyone could enjoy such a game... Just, blah! That was not done right until Sins of a Solar Empire.

I also have my reservations about Disciples 2 and Age of Conan
 
TheWesDude said:
resident evil 4: the game wont even recognized there is a mouse. its a FPS without mouse support.

thats right. think about that for a bit. fps without mouse support on the PC.
Click to expand...

WTF! I'd never imagine Capcom made such shitty job... RE4 on PC without mouse is unconceivable... an absurd! :shock:
 
TheWesDude said:
god, get ready for some absolute drivel.

devil may cry 4:
if you dont have an xbox controller, dont try to play it. so many sequences suck very very badly without one. the keyboard layout feels like it was designed by a 10 yr old. like no mouse support at all.

fable did it better. hell of a lot better.

resident evil 4:
this game may have lasted 30m on my computer, but i would be including the install time.

if ever you want to play a game that is unplayable on the PC, this is it. wsad is your normal moving keys, but then rather than using a mouse to aim, you have to use your keyboard. no there is no option to map a mouse. the game wont even recognized there is a mouse. its a FPS without mouse support.

thats right. think about that for a bit. fps without mouse support on the PC.
Click to expand...


DMC4 is a precision combo-based fighting game. Trying to play it on the keyboard is like trying to play an FPS with a gamepad and then complaining about the controls. Works fine on my cordless rumblepad 2 (PS2-type controller), no xbox controller required.


I agree with you about RE4 though, not including mouse support was incredibly lazy. Theres a hack out there (Called 'Mouseaim') that lets your mouse emulate an analogue stick for the game, but its pretty painful to play through.
 
Bubsy 3d(psx)
I have seen this game in some of those worst games top 10 lists and it seriously deserves that, its bad taste done with bad controls with bad graphics in badly designed world. Pure shit, shot the disc with shotgun into pieces after playing it for 20 minutes. Something tells about its shittyness is that some of my older friends still laugh at times at me for trading it for wipeout 7 damn years ago.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viCUneosjw4

Kings field(psx)
fpp rpg, very slow movement, allmost immortal enemies, ugly graphics and mediocre story.... still i played it trough for some reason.
:|

Battletoads(nes)
Just bad memories about sore fingers and broken controllers, its difficulty seriously made me furious some times.

The sims(pc)
Nothing wrong with it itself... It just felt like problem simulator from my own life, so why shouldnt i just go an take a shit in real life and watch some tv and go to sleep and eat and work and take a dump and sleep and..... well you get the picture

Postal 2(pc)
For reasons allready listed in this thread.
 
The Battlertoads games

*shudder * I remember those, it starts of innocent enough and for a while you think you are actually having fun until suddenly the insane difficulty of some of those damn minigames kicks in.

I guess the designers were competing amongst themselves who the most sadistic of them was.
 
ah the battletoads... damn those buggers

i really smiled about the pump action on the dvd thing. sometimes i hate living in a civilized country. is the use of m-80s allowed in the us? id love to see some games blown up by them.

more rants plox!
 
Recently; Gene Troopers. A 2008 game built on the Deus Ex 2 engine. I shit you not. This game is so dreadful, so perfectly awful in every possible way that I believe that those responsible for it should be punished. Physically.
 
Half-Life 2. Seriously, that game REALLY sucks. I don't understand where do all it's awards greatness is supposed to come. Here are some examples:
The Story: Boohoo, evil aliens attack the earth! Then one man comes and kills them all. Now how did they come up with SO new story like that? Plus, the story goes on very stupidly: since there are now tightly- scripted story-telling animations, I really didn't know what to do and where to go a couple of times.
The physics: OK, it's nice to throw little stuff around, but the Havoc physics really sometimes go crazy (a TV won't fly 5 yards and do 3 flips if I jump on it.)
Gordon Freeman Himself: The fact that a really wise nuclear physican cannot speak is really stupid, and the story goes on even more idiotically, when people ask Freeman about something, he doesn't answer, and still everyone tells how great his plans are.

Actually the only thing good in those games are the graphics. OK, you can come to me and hang me if I insulted you in some way, but I stay in my opinion.
 
i am unable to find any immersion in fps-games. hl2 is okay, but mainly for the satisfactory 'where i aim, nothings gonna live'. i dont know if fps games without any cross-genre elements (rts, rpg) will survive... you cannot tell a story about a main character you almost never get to see (or hear, very good point there - gothic with all its faults did the right thing there). remember duke nukem? where you could look at yourself in the mirror and comment on it? damn that was a great moment in gaming, small, but great.

man, some green floating text over your head would suffice in that regard. or... one of the most underrated shooters evar, undying. even the occasional "wont budge" pulled me more into that story.
 
@horst: ever played Star Wars Republic Commando? It's a great SP experience for an FPS, in fact it's the better FPS I've ever played - hope someday LucasArts make a sequel or something (Imperial Commando, maybe?).

Of course, the multiplayer isn't great, but again it wasn't the focus of the developers; plus Half-Life/Counter-Strike/Unreal are there for multiplaying, it's hard to beat these.

Resume: you WILL find immersion in FPS if you play SW:RC, here is a video:

http://br.youtube.com/watch?v=0mFOC5g1Mug&feature=related

Real immersion, not Beth's "OMG bloom'n immershun lol"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top