Windows 2000! Featuring:
Profound hardware/software simulataneous resource usage by different applications {sometimes known as complete system crash} frequency upgraded by no less that 75%! Kudos to our development team for this remarkable achievement.
Seriously improves your computer's benchmark results! {because you'll have to buy some state-of-the-art extra components just to make them run on your machine}
Modified device drivers to make your gaming experience something you will never forget {especially that exhilirating moment when you finally manage to make the game run, just to see your computer explode after the beginning sequence}
Yes, Windows 2000 is truly a system of the future.
Quinch
I shoulda been in marketing...